Crazy week

We have been crazy around here trying to get the girls connected with family and our friends and trying for them to meet people a little at a time not to overwhelm them. Little by little they are getting a sense of family, not just our own, but our extended family. I think this will continue to take some time, and I am using the phrase Otin taught me "In our family... we do this...". One of the things that we have tried to teach the girls is that in a family, people share things... It's funny to think that they did have to share quite a bit at La Casita, however, here the girls have not wanted to share what they have. They always want individual things and they are always asking for me to give them something 'just for them' and nobody else. I understand that this is because when you do not have necessarily something of your own you crave that. But at the same time, we understand that in families things have to be shared. Today for the first time, we went to a picnic and I bought two big bags of chips (we don't buy them for our house, I only buy them small bags once a week), which they prefer above candy, sweets etc. When they first found out they had to share, they were not crazy about it, but then when we got to the park, each served themselves a whole plate of Doritos. Sucena, served herself a whole plate of Cheese Puffs. We are hoping this craving will go away some day. At the picnic we met some friends and they had fun at the Monona Community park. The girls had a great time, even though we still had to remind them to not be so rough in play. We also had the girls meet a couple of potential babysitters. We are excited that we might be going on our first date on July 17th for a wedding reception. It wasn't that long ago we went on our last date, but it seems like ages ago. Thanks Darlene for giving us a good excuse to go out!

On Sunday the girls attended Alex's parents 50th wedding anniversary. There were lots of people they did not know (a lot I did not know either), but the girls got to go to a nice park and spend some time with their cousins as well as meet other cousins and family members. I felt bad that they went outside to play for part of the presentation, but not understanding most of what was going on, was difficult. I think that for the most part,the girls have done a great job integrating themselves into the rest of the family.

We continue our challenges, and this week it included a bathtub we thought was clogged (but wasn't and I had to pay $145 to find out, plus $200 more for the hole that Alex put in the other bathtub that he was using as a model to unplug to other one), a clogged toilet, because ( and this happens very often), I assume the girls know how to dispose of certain material that should be put in the toilet, as well as a false alarm from our real estate agent that someone was interested in our place to find out she picked another one. Anyway, It's been a crazy week and I want to go to bed. Next week we are going to Crab Lake, I hope that there are no ticks and hope that we have nice weather.

Sleepless Nights

It's funny how people say to me that 'at least you sleep through the night' bit regarding the adoption of older kids. It's true that most of the time, the girls sleep through the night. However, it has taken the girls sometime to transition into sleeping in their room. They have been good about not waking me up, except for tonight. So tonight, Yesica had growing pains and finally came over to our bed crying loudly. All the girls were awake and Sucena had pain as well. She tends to acquire all the ailments of her sisters in a timely manner :). Having all the girls in one room has it's advantages and disadvantages. The advantage is that they keep each other company, comfort each other etc. The teenagers are not liking this arrangement, of course. I know come morning, there will be complaints that they are sleepy. In Medellin there were split in two rooms and this helped in times like this. We are hoping we could find a house with three bedrooms, but have been unsuccessful at selling our condo and most likely will take it off the market. There are many condos here for sale, and no one has looked at ours in months. The girls want to have a house with a dog (not something that I am excited about). I want a house so that I separate them in two rooms so that at least some people will get sleep at times like this.

Back to sleepless nights.. Since we have had the girls, our house work has tripled. In our apartment in Medellin we had a lady that came to clean once a week. This was included in the rent. I miss that. I know I have a dryer here, which I did not have back there, but needless to say that it is at night when I get some of the cleaning done. Alex has been great at keeping up with laundry during the day. Needless to say that I don't get much sleep, which is not a problem for me, because I am in the time of my life when a good night sleep only comes once in a while. But for Alex, this has been a problem and finding time for napping has been challenging. I have always thought that motherhood and menopause go very well together. You don't get any sleep anyway, so you might as well have kids that can't sleep either.

Well it's 2:30 in the morning and after a round of Children's Tylenol, drinks of water and a prayer 'it's all quiet in the western front'. At least for now...

Sorry I have not taken pictures. I will take some this weekend to post.

Spending time with 'grandmother'

Well today Alex's mom, Sis came over to cook dinner for the girls. It was nice not to have to figure out what to have for dinner for once. I have learned that it is easier if the girls do not have a heavy lunch (just a snack) mid day, maybe a popsicle mid afternoon and then dinner around 6 works out fine. Sis came and made chicken, rice pilaf and I helped with the beans. She also made a tomato and avocado salad. Sucena and Yesica helped with the shopping. The girls enjoyed having their 'grandmother' here with them. They decided this is what they wanted to call her. It's not a nickname, I think they are trying to show respect with this and it is a great way to practice the word.

Milena and Mirellen were exhausted from the field trip of the ESL program. They are not used to walking that much here and they walked to take a city bus, walked around the capitol and the farmer's market. Milena and Mirellen had the task to buy something for the whole family. Milena bought bread, and Mirellen bought cheese popcorn. So much for the tomatoes I was hoping they would buy.. I met the ESL group down there and the two younger ones liked going around to see what was for sale. They were most impressed by all the baked goods that were for sale. Then it was back to school to do a little more work before the ESL kids would get back. I have been supporting the ESL program but did not realize how much support they were going to need. I think it would have been nice to get an extra paycheck for this. Anyway, the girls have been enjoying their English program.

So much has happened this week again. The girls got to meet some other cousins yesterday: The Trostel-Haunts and enjoyed their time at 'Tia's' house as they would call it (Ginny Martin's house). They got wet outside, had hamburger, hot dogs and cheese puffs (their favorite) and had a pillow fight in the basement (or so I hear). What more could a kid want for a night out?

First Father's Day

Today was Alex's first Father's Day. Overall the day was a lot better than my mother's day, since we have been working with the girls and helping them settle in. The day was not however without any drama because the girls decided to put something inside the my bird's cage and he flew away. I had just stepped out to the second floor to change clothes when Alex comes to tell me this. It was difficult for me not to fly off the handle. I wanted to but the girls were wailing about it. I was more angry than sad, since I had just told them to leave him alone and had made sure that the cage was facing the right way so he would not get out. I then told the girls it was time to go to mass and I did not want to hear any complaints. We put the cage outside hoping he would come back in (he has not yet). We went to Holy Redeemer for Spanish mass. The church was full of people. It was Father's Day and everyone was dressed up. I felt like a terrible mom because the girls looked frumpy and not as made up as all the Mexican girls in the church. The mass was a lot longer than the English Mass, but the girls were well behaved. I have to remember that if I go back there, the girls will have to look a lot nicer. Getting the right clothes for them seems like a never ending process. The fashion here is different than in Medellin, most of the girls will not wear T-shirts and most (except one) love to wear skirts. This is great, I think, that they are very feminine, but it has it's disadvantages since the fashions here are so casual and relaxed for most girls their age.
After mass we gave Alex Father's Day presents and then I took the older girls to Claire's for earrings a some jewelry. Alex took the youngest two bike riding. After a quick trip to Target then it was back home to make dinner. While the girls watched a video I cooked Rice and Beans and Tacos. They only had rice and beans as they did not try (this time) tacos. I found a recipe for Colombian beans and tried it tonight, the girls liked the beans a lot better than the Puerto Rican beans that I usually make.
The girls are getting better at getting ready for bed, and we have started a new point system so I had to watched them brush their teeth.

Well.. Father's Day is over. I think Alex had a good time and the girls even helped him clean the cars. I'm sad that Robbie is gone, but all I can say is... we have come a long way since Mother's Day.

Update

I have not written for a while and here is an update on what is going on. Last Sunday we took the girls to Dolphins Cove for the first time. During the last week of school I worked part time. I spent the morning at work and went home in the afternoon. It seemed I had been gone for a long time, but some things never change. As soon as I got there, I was full of work as always, the difference being I need to go home now when I say I am going to.

In the afternoons I took the girls to different pools so they now know a lot of the pools around town.

Yesterday I took the girls to the doctor for their check ups immunizations etc. We were there for five hours straight. I think the pediatrician blocked his afternoon for all of us. The girls were well behaved and Alex ran ahead to prepare dinner. The went biking and walking for a little bit afterward.

Today two of the girls began an ESL summer program at the middle school. Their first day, even though it was rainy and they almost did not make the field trip that was planned was wonderful. All they could talk about was how nice every one was and how much they enjoyed their first day. They are excited and motivated to go to school this summer. I wish the program was longer, but it is only three weeks. Later in July, the younger ones will have their own program.

We have decided that this summer will be about meeting family, setting routines and getting them familiar with their surroundings. Like we mentioned before, we take it one day at a time, as we continue this transition period. As we mentioned before, some of the girls are making a better transition than others, so this is always challenging. The other part is the love and support vs. discipline and I suppose all parents struggle with this.

We look forward to continue to meet with our friends and relatives throughout the summer in order for the girls to continue to make connections. We hope that with this, they will continue to transition as they have done so far.

Dolphins Cove

We spent part of Sunday afternoon at Dolphin's Cove in the Prairie Athletic Club in Sun Prairie. This is a great big pool with tubes and slides. The girls had a great time (we will put pictures once they are downloaded). After learning a few rules at the kids pool, it was on to the slides. The two youngest ones waited to see what the older ones would do in the bigger slides. Then they went as well. I went on the purple slide that has the double and single tubes. I don't like slides or roller coasters, I get a little vertigo and my neck starts to hurt, but I went several times with different girls. I think Sucena and I went three times and Yesica and I went once. Then the girls discovered a rope where kids go across a pool. They stayed here a long time, and they all went across.
I felt somewhat sad they did not share this day with someone their age such as a friend or cousin, but we plan to invite cousins to come and share this experience. I can't wait until the girls make some friends, I think this would help them get more acclimated to here.

Today I (Mercedes) went to work. It felt a little strange. I am definitely not the same person I used to be. I'm not sure that I have internalized motherhood yet, but I am getting there.

Thanks for all the support out there. I promise pictures are coming!

End of the week

For those of you teachers out there, this week felt like the beginning of school, you know, when you just have that 4 day week and then you know that the next week is a full week so you better be prepared for it? Anyway, this week was very interesting in that I stayed home with the girls by himself for 4 days in a row. I tried establishing some routines, by doing work in the morning: Math, English and Reading. I also took the girls around and they got to see their cousin Julia play soccer for the first time. Mirellen our second one said that this was the first game they had seen 'live'. There will be many more, of course. That evening ended up with Yesica stepping on a bee. My sister Otin had given me a first aide kit that was promptly used. However, Yesica was OK by the time we go to Subway for sandwiches. I tried my best this week to cook every day for every meal but was only successful for one day (Friday). For those of you out there that might want to give us something: gift certificates to restaurants might be a good idea (so would a membership to Costco). People keep asking me if the girls are learning English. They certainly are with me, however, as most teachers will tell you, they will learn more from their peers than they will with me.

Last night was our first session trying to teach the girls how to play Wii. I'm sure parents out there are thinking "Oh, Oh they will get addicted". We have decided that Wii is going to be for now family time. We feel it is important they learn how to play since so many of their friends will probably have it, but we feel it is just fun to do as a family. We'll see if this plan works.
It's always fun to see the girls reaction to something that is totally new.

I also made a chocolate cake from a box that was a big hit. I gave the girls the bowl to lick. Since three of the girls were playing dress up, I told them to take their dresses off to lick the bowl. I had to control my laughter when I saw one of the girls with no clothes with chocolate all over her arms and face ( I won't say who but you can imagine). She asked me " are you going to give us some of that chocolate sauce again". To her surprise, the chocolate sauce had turned into a cake. Another girl asked: Why are you making us a cake.. I said 'just to eat', she said: I didn't know you could do that"...

One thing that has been a struggle this week has been unstructured time and what to do with it. As a child I remember the things I used to do with unstructured time, such as playing with dolls, making up games, coloring, etc. This has a been a struggle for the girls. Even though they have newly bought toys, they are not using them as much as I thought they would. As a matter fact, they gave away the Barbies that I brought for them to Colombia to other kids in Casa Lanthana in Bogota and were not interested in playing with them. Their play tends to be simple, just jumping on the bean bags downstairs or playing dress up. They are very good in art, but do not spend anytime drawing, unless they are specifically told to do this. Today I am going to take them to Michaels to pick up some crafts. We have some bird houses that Mine left here for the girls to do, but I am hoping they will be inspired to do some crafting and I plan to pick up a calendar of classes and see what they have to offer.

I'm sorry I have not posted any pictures recently. I really have not taken as many. We will still put pictures from Crab Lake soon.
--MM

A day of firsts

Today I stayed with the girls all day while Alex went to work. The first time this happened last week, it did not go so well. We had just arrived and the girls were beginning another transition. We dealt with the issues the same as we did in Colombia, and things have begun to fall into place again just like they did there. Now that the girls have most of the relatives that live in the area, it was time to begin to introduce them to community and the community of Sun Prairie. After a late start of the day, and lunch at the Sun Prairie Culvers (when I first told them we were going to Culvers again they thought I was going to drive to Stevens Point, the first Culvers we had visited). It was on to a visit at Westside Elementary. It was great to see my old friends again and have them meet the girls. This was very special to me, and I later told the girls this. I told them that these were all good people, and that it was important for them to meet people they could trust in the community.

After this we went to the public Library were the girls got their first library card and checked out books for the first time. They got to meet the Bilingual Children's Librarian. I told her we would be coming to visit regularly... They did a great job finding books, singing their cards and standing in Line to check out their books.

We then proceeded to go to Target to spend gift certificates that their Aunt Laura had sent to them. This was a treat to watch. It was interesting to see how they made their choices. But The girls did a great job choosing their stuff, although Sucena was done in 20 minutes or so until she found the Polly Pockets. This was great for me, because we had not bought any toys yet. So it was great that they were able to do this. Thanks Laura for this. Later while the girls were going to sleep Mirellen said to me: " We had never had our money to buy our own toys, why do you think we chose infantile things, because when we were little we wanted things that we could not have and we always wanted them". Very insightful.. It's amazing how something that seems so little is so big to them... I was glad I was a witness to this..MM

Weekend at Crab Lake

This weekend we took the girls to Crab Lake. It was quite the long trip for them, since the longest trip they had ever taken in our car was about one hour. We stopped in Stevens Point for Culvers (the first time there). The hardest part of taking the girls out is their unfamiliarity with so many foods, but a place like Culvers is nice because it has so many choices. The girls had a chicken dinner and ice cream, of course. The girls have pretty good appetites so we tend to spend a lot of money in food. The most difficult thing to find for them are drinks they like that are not sodas. In Colombia all juices are natural and have no sugar. Since most grocery stores do not carry such juices and they tend to be expensive, we have resorted to buying Kool-Aid and watering it down. I found out today they like watered down orange Kool-Aid. They also like Gatorade...

Back to the Lake.. When we got there the girls were very excited to meet their grandparents (Alex's parents) they ran to meet them with big kisses and hugs. I think grandpa and grandma were impressed. The girls are very affectionate, this has never been a problem. We then went to the little house and they chose their beds. It was nice to be back at Crab Lake, but to be honest, I felt a little cramped in the little house, since we had just returned to Colombia a week before and had spent almost a week in small rooms such as a the little house. Anyway, we were happy to be there, the girls explored their surroundings. Some liked Crab Lake more than others, but most liked the fact that they could swim as much as they wanted. The water was cold to me but not to them. Sis (Alex's mom) had gotten them life jackets so they could swam a lot.

Also, the girls got to spend time with their cousins Julia and Anna. They specially liked looking for cray fish with their cousins at the point since the water was so low, you could walk to look for cray fish. The first day they found a bunch, but left them in the pail for too long, so they went bad. But the second and third day they captured Sis cooked them and they ate them (Yuck, I was not involve with that.)

During the weekend they also learned to fish with Andy. They were fast learners at this, but were disappointed to find out that there were actually fishing rules and that there were some fish you could not keep. Sometimes it is difficult to explain the rules and why they are there. I myself feel there are too many rules in the U.S., some make sense and others not... but that is my opinion. (MM). Anyway, I always tell people that they need to learn these rules and that it is OK if they get frustrated with the rules, since they have to learn about them anyway.

The girls also got to meet Camille, a girl whose parents own Alpine Lodge. She is about 12 and came over to play. The girls enjoyed Camille and Camille enjoyed playing with the girls. We got invited to a bonfire to roast marshamallows. There were other kids staying at the Alpine Lodge and so the girls got to go on a paddle boat with some of the kids and they also got to watch people fishing there of the pier. It was great to for the girls to see how the people fishing there would throw their fish back, since this is what we had to explain to the girls before. I think it was then that they understood that some people fish just for the enjoyment of fishing, not for survival. This was new to them. Eventually Mirellen got her wish when on Sunday she captured a small Lake Perch that was cooked in butter. Since Alex and I don't fish, we are looking for a volunteer to take the girls out fishing.. any takers?

The only downfall of the weekend was the tick problem up north. We had to return a day early because there I was attacked my ticks 2 nights in a row while sleeping (pulling one of of my hair on Sunday night was the last straw for me). With two nights of no sleep I was done for the weekend. I had never had a single tick at Crab Lake in 18 years and in one weekend I had at least a dozen I had to pick . The girls were bit too, but what they enjoyed the most was the swimming. Without that, I think it would have been a boring weekend for them. It was nice to be with family, even if the ticks were annoying.

This was an important weekend for all of us and the girls had a blast. Since the girls talk to me quite a bit I hear all their stories about how much they were restricted while at La Casita. I don't blame them for doing this, since there are so many children and there is an urgency on getting the children prepared for Adoption. What this means is that every experience that the girls have is done with 'gusto' and enjoyment maybe more than kids their own age. We are used to this now, and we usually let them enjoy as much as possible, even if their choice of activity seem strange to us (filling buckets and water guns and getting wet right after the rain).

The girls also got to see Crab Lake's snapping turtle. We'll have to tell them about the snapping turtle at some point..but not for a long time....