A day at home-Weekend trip

Today we tried to get back into a routine we had gotten away from because of different activities. Our routine usually goes as follows. We get up at 6 to 6:30 am, then the girls get up at around the same time or a little bit later. Then we have family breakfast (all our meals at home are family style). The girls favorite breakfast tends to be sausage and bread. They love eggs (which is great) and they eat their cereal not with milk, but with liquid yogurt. I think we now have this yogurt in the U.S. They will eat any cereal this way. We sometimes have fruit. They don't eat a lot of fruit except for mangoes which they love, as well as a fruit here called "Tomate de Arbol". This is a tomato with a harder shell than we are used to in which we add 'panela', hard brown sugar. The girls love this. Sometimes we will fry yellow plantains for breakfast as well. They like this too. I think the girls have already gained weight and have grown in two weeks. I look at some of the pictures from the first day and some of the pictures now, and they look different. By the way, we are not allowed to post any pictures of the girls until the adoption is final, so this is why we have not posted any pictures of the girls yet. Hopefully we will do this in a couple of weeks. After breakfast, the girls take showers or dry their hair if they have taken a shower earlier. Then the girls work on two pages of Math. Then it's reading time and English practice. The girls have now learned some phrases mostly from our family meals. They are proud of what they know. After this I take the girls downstairs to the little park. We play there for a while. Then we come back up and they have free time while we prepare lunch. Lunch here is the heaviest meal of the day, although we have given the girls some heavy meals at night sometimes as well. It all depends what we have.
Today we followed our routine, but we had one of the beds collapse the night before so there was a guy here fixing the bed. I took the girls downstairs for a little while but then some moms with little ones came out. It was getting crowded with the babies and the older girls were getting silly so I took them back up. Sometimes it is so difficult here to keep them entertained on days like this because even though there are some things to do, we are limited to taxis and our guide Vicky. We do not take taxis very often and mostly rely on her. There are some things to do for kids here, but mostly there are a lot of shopping malls. Medellin is huge on shopping, and all the stores are just beautiful. Since the girls do not have friends outside of the orphanage and their old school (which they are no longer allowed to have contact with) nor extended family to visit, on days like this we spend the whole day together trying to do things at home, and eventually we go to the pool downstairs. I can see we are going to finally take advantage of that water park membership we have in Sun Prairie.
Tomorrow we are taking the girls to a 'finca' or small resort with pools, horseback riding etc. Our guide got us a great deal for it so we are spending a long weekend there (80 dollars a night for two rooms breakfast included!--I never talk about money but this was quite a deal, otherwise we would have never done it). Most families that come and adopt are offered a long weekend in the country or the beach at a nearby Island. We chose the former because the price was reasonable.
Another reason was because we are limited to being in town due to the fact that our bank is limiting us to a 500 dollars a day withdrawal (for security reasons). Because we need to pay most of our fees here in cash, and we felt uncomfortable bringing a large amount of cash with us, our bank limit has caused us major headaches. There are several payments that we have to make to the lawyer, our guide and paralegal who is in charge of recovering the original birth certificates and civil registry. This means that we must plan ahead and begin withdrawing money daily before the payments are due in order to have the amount of money that we need.
By the way, the girls are from a small town in the southern part of the Antioquia state (Abejorral), it is also mountainous so they are used to a little bit of cold. They will jump in the pool after dark, when the temperature here is in the 60s, something I (Mercedes) don't dare to do. Good practice for Crab Lake. Well.. we must finish packing for tomorrow. We don't know if our hotel in the Mountains will have Wi-Fi, so it is possible we might not blog until Monday. I know you are all getting used to reading our blog daily, so we apologize for this ahead of time.
--MM and AA

Medellin Metro Tour-Medellin Spanish

Today we went on a Metro Tour of Medellin. This is a large city of about 4 million of just the city, not including outlying areas. They have a new train system, which we took from the center of the city to the north side of town where we took a cable lift system like at a ski resort that takes you up the mountain sides. At the other end of the cable ride that we went on is a new National Park (Arvi), which includes hotels and restaurants. We have been told that Colombia has a lot of natural resources, but they have not done enough with preserving and showing off those resources. What we went to today was a very positive step in the attempt to preserve and accentuate the beautiful mountain country areas of Colombia. On the way up the mountain, there are several communities that are called "comunas". These are poor communities, but do not lack resources. There are schools, and even a huge library that whose funds for construction were donated by the Spanish Crown. Throughout these communities we could see plantain trees, and small coffee groves right next to their homes as well as cows and horses wandering or grazing. Colombia seems to be utilizing its resources better than Mexico, because they are more interested in the social welfare of its people than Mexico which seems to just glorify how well some people work, or how hard people work. We saw some very poor communities but there are attempts to help improve their situation. An example we saw of this was that people who are living in handmade shacks,can give up their plot of land for a brand new apartment, which is usually in a multifamily dwelling. The advantage is that you utilize the land more efficiently for a growing population, while providing people with better living conditions.
We were prepared to do a number of activities at the park after lunch including, zip cable line, canoeing, butterfly and insect farm and a museum. One of the first things we saw was a typical countryside bus they call 'Chiva'. We went to lunch first because the girls were hungry. The service was super slow and then it started to rain hard, which is very common up in the mountains during rainy season. The temperature was probably in the mid to low 60s. Then when it rained it seemed to drop a little bit in temperature. Everybody but Alex was cold. While up at the park we had warm Mortino berry tea which was delicious. This is a berry that grows in high altitude. Very dark and tasted similar to a marionberry (Oregon people will know what I'm talking about), but not the Washington D.C. version. We did not use our vouchers for these activities, so we hope to go back another day.
The girls behaved well in crowded situations and stayed with us the whole time. This is not the first time this has happened, the girls have been wonderful when they are in crowded places.
One of the things that both of us have had to learn are words used by the girls that might be colloquial. Here are just but a few:
-chito- Be quiet
-Mami, chi chi- mom I have to tinkle or pee
-Mecatear-to snack
-Mutilar-to get a haircut
-tendido-sheets
-Sancionar-to punish
-chicles-leggins
-capul-bangs or hair in front of the face
-piscinear-going to the pool
-chocolatina-chocolate candy bar
-crispetas-popcorn


We'll have to think of other ones.. I will have to write them down.--MM, AA

First Family Birthday Celebration

Today was our second oldest birthday. She turned 12 today. The day started with breakfast, then the girls dried their hair. Our youngest gave the birthday girl a present, a made up card, a belt (her own) and about 600 pesos from her own money (about 30 cents). After that Alex went the grocery store to get the cake with the birthday girl. We had the groceries and cake delivered (in Medellin you can have almost any purchase you make at stores or meals at restaurants delivered, it's great). The birthday girl and Alex then went down to play basketball (she's quite the athlete) while the other girls and I decorated the apartment with balloons, plates, etc. Finally she came up, we sang happy birthday, my parents called and we ate cake, a few chocolates, cocadas (delicious cookies)and juice. She received an MP3 and 10,000 pesos from us (about 5 dollars). We are starting to give the girls small amounts of money because the numbers here are so big (about 2,000 pesos to the dollar). At 12 we called David Kneusel and talked to him for a little while. Then at 1 we went back to El Tesoro, a shopping mall with an amusement park. The mall also has a grocery store and a movie complex, where at 3 we went to see their first 3D movie (Alex was sitting with two of the girls and I guess our youngest tried to reach out to grab little ball bearings with smiley faces that were used to introduce the 3D effect). Then we went to the same restaurant as yesterday for dinner. We are now starting to learn their tastes and are getting better at ordering for them or at least making better suggestions for what they should order. We know they are going to have to learn a new collection of food when we get back to the states. It will be a learning process for everyone. Fortunately they like dairy products and sausage.
After the movie the girls went back to more rides. The birthday girl had exhausted her funds for rides so she had to ask her sisters to lend her some money for rides from their cards. It was a fun day for everyone. We are exhausted and need to go to bed.

Revised

I have revised my entry from yesterday after further review. Thanks for your input.
--MM and AA

The Process Begins

Today our process began. Basically this is how it works:
-We met our lawyer at court today. At the court, we sign a petition to adopt the girls. The petition was a lot simpler than I expected. Just our facts, the girls facts and our reasons for wanting to adopt them.
-Then, we went to the orphanage, there the family defender (another lawyer who works for the orphanage as well) met with us. He also signs stating that he sees that the integration period has been positive and that the adoption should move forward. Usually the defender meets with the kids and parents does an interview and signs the report. However, in our case the defender talked to us in a more social format, and after 10 minutes he told our guide that he did not need to meet with us, that he could see the integration had been positive and that he would sign without interviews. The director then met separately with the girls and then with us. The interview with the director was positive. She told us the girls had said that we were both loving and strict and that she could tell they felt very safe with us. She also said to us that in her view the integration had gone a lot better than what she had expected. She said that not all kids call their parents papi y mami during the integration period, and do not feel as safe with their parents. She said the fact that I was fluent in Spanish and that Alex understood so much had helped. I do think our weekly phone calls, once we had permission helped as well.
-Next in the process the lawyer takes all the paper work to the court and waits to get a judge who will oversee the case. While we waited, Vicky, our guide took us to El Tesoro, a Shopping Mall that had rides This was my favorite place to go so far. The mall is beautiful and there are rides for little and big kids. I also loved the fact that we get the girls a rechargeable card put money in it and they can get on the rides until the money is gone. We just put enough money in it for about an hour and a half, once the money was gone they could not ride anymore. This is a great system that I wish someone would copy in the states. I hate having to pay ride per ride or paying so much and not riding as much as you can for the money you pay.
-Then our guide picked us up and the lawyer called. We then found out we got judge #7, not too fast not too slow just right, so he will review the case and hopefully sign papers on Tuesday. Once this is done, then the count starts, about 10 days after we should sign our sentencia, this is the final adoption decree.

The process was a lot simpler than we expected. No lines, the courthouse was not that crowded. What our guide was explaining to us was that the worst part of the process is the U.S., not here. I guess that in Europe the process is a lot simpler and the U.S requires more clearances.

We had a great day. We are glad the process has started.

One final word, I want to thank everyone who had positive comments regarding my entry last night. I do not mean to sound negative and it was never my intention to sound as if we are feeling negative about the process. We love our girls and we could have not asked for a more beautiful family. Just like birth families we have gone through our ups and downs, but overall it has been a great experience. Medellin is a beautiful place, and the Medellin people are wonderful. We plan to come back. --MM

I wanted to add that the psychologist at La Casita that interviewed the girls and us gave us very positive comments. I have been telling Merecedes that she is doing a wonderful job, but like my telling her she's gorgeous, she doesn't believe it unless she hears it from someone else. Thank you to everyone who wrote positive things.
Also, our computer has been up mostly when I use it (can't explain). As a result Mercedes is typing these blogs but is not writing everything. We usually type this together. (This took me 10 minutes of frustration to type).

Roller Coaster

Well today was quite the day.. Lots of confrontations,accidents,tantrums, kids shutting down, tears etc. The thing is that there is a lot that we don't put on the blog. Even though the girls are great, there are lots of behaviors that are related to their experiences. We don't talk about these issues on the blog because they are personal. We have great days, or mornings and we might have terrible afternoons or evenings and every day is a roller coaster,just like any other family. We deal with some of the same issues as any other family except that we have only been a family for about a week and half. We also know that this is a transition time and that in the future they will probably be very different people than they are now. So I had a bit of a breakdown today. Doing so many jobs at the same time, and also try to translate and mediate seemed a bit much today. So I cried... I use to cry more, I don't as much anymore (Alex cries more than I do), but today the tears just came, and came. That is, I am the main communicator between the girls and Alex. I have to help the girls with almost everything,help teach discuss behaviors of the girls with Alex, cook, clean, and everything else. This is strange, but it always seems like this happens to me the day before a big day.. What's that all about?--MM

A Day at the Intercontinental Hotel

Today, we were invited by another adopting couple that is staying at the Intercontinental Hotel to visit with them. They are from Goteberg Sweeden. They are adopting a little boy that our oldest often took care of while they were in La Casita. The couple were very nice to the girls and allowed them to play 'mom' with the little boy. They also invited us to lunch. We were concerned our oldest daughter might feel very sad and think twice about being adopted by this experience.
But like many other things, we have seen of her in the last week,she showed some but not much emotion, and seems to be moving on. At the Intercontinental there were various families who were adopting toddlers. We met another adopting couple from Britain and Denmark. They are adopting a child also from La Casita. They were speaking to the toddler using both languages. We recognized them because they were at La Casita the day we met the girls. They were there for their interview, our interview is Tuesday. They are leaving Medellin tomorrow night for Bogota. They had a very speedy judge (#10). We are hoping for judge #10. The couple from Sweden have been here for three weeks and are expected to be here for two more weeks.
The Intercontinental Hotel was beautiful, it had tennis courts, playground, spa, and a beautiful pool. If we had the money we might have stayed there. It would have been nice to have other adopting couples to converse with. We feel a little isolated here. At the same time, we are developing home style patterns and routines that staying at a hotel would never accomplish. We plan to go back tomorrow to get hair stylings at the Beauty Salon in the hotel. We spent most of the day swimming. Tomorrow we will make up for that by not being able to swim at all. When we got home the girls were so tired they didn't all last through two Skype calls to the Vuchetichs and Kneusels. Only the oldest stayed up for both calls, which were over before 8 o'clock. Though the girls haven't had formal swimming training, they are getting better. What little we have taught them has helped. They're eyes were very bloodshot. On Wednesday is our second oldest's birthday. We are hoping to get her a present tomorrow, plan a surprise family party for Wednesday and get ready for our big day on Tuesday. I should be tired but I'm not..--MM

Sleepless Night

Last night I could hardly sleep thinking about all the things that I felt we needed to work on with the girls, Alex's frustrations,our process, money we still have to pay etc... I don't think we are doing that bad, we understand that this will be a process and we prepared ourselves for this (probably for worse), but part of our frustration is also not having a clear understanding of how things are going to work, last minute changes of schedule etc. We have a few things planned for the next three days and we have to be somewhat flexible about this because our process will start Tuesday, when our interview begins and the petition for the adoption decree is scheduled.
Since I need less sleep than Alex I don't feel bad about this. I think is actually good because I am finally getting to the point when I don't feel exhausted. It is typical for me to sleep little during the school year. So this is good sign.
One worry I have is the fact that I am loosing weight so fast (not eating enough and having an intestinal problem right now) that I have no clothes to wear and what I have is practically falling off my body. I've had to borrow Alex's belt just to hold a pair of pants, and these were pants that I bought before I left! I also brought clothes for interviews and court and just a couple of things for the pool and around the house. Somehow I thought I would need more formal clothes and I have not touched them!
The girls are obsessed with frozen juice to make treats, but our freezer here is very small,and it's too hot to buy Popsicles at the store.
It continues to be hot here almost every day with temperatures most likely in the mid 80's. (I love it). There is a new mall opening across the way from us on the other side of the building. It opens May 7th. We are not sure if we will be here during the grand opening. We have been invited for a children's day at the bookstore that day in celebration of the grand opening.
Alex is still sleeping, which is good... we both have been getting up around 6 every day and going to sleep at around 11. Usually after the girls go to sleep I sweep,mop and do laundry. (I miss my dryer so much I could cry! If at least we could hang more than just 20 pieces of laundry a night that would help too). We also talk about the day, plan what we will talk to the girls about etc. Since we are getting to know the girls we also reflect on their reaction to the day, what we have observed that day etc. I'm sure you parents out there might be laughing and thinking this is what parenting is all about and it is strange that we would be explaining this on the blog. Oh well!! We know this is only the beginning. --MM
(By the way, I am usually the one that writes in the blog, it is not that Alex does not want to or like to, but we have problems with this computer and it only likes to be handled in a certain way when writing for some reason the way he puts his hands on the keyboard makes the cursor jump all over the blog or email.. we are not happy with this computer which we bought right before we left.. it is second hand but has more problems that we expected)

Today our translator/guide, Vicky, took us on a trip into the mountains to be in cooler weather/cleaner air, as well as to see some of the other communities in this part of Colombia. We are in the state (Departamento) of Antioquia. Some parts are very modern. Others are poor and much like the communities were 40 years ago. Many of the towns we visited were beautiful and had unique characteristics like local artisans who made specialized furniture. We stopped at an artisans market and asked the girls to choose some souvenirs to take back home. Three of the girls chose typical dolls, one of the girls chose a little typical country house. The store was beautiful, and the girls were good about looking around without asking for much. One of the communities that we happened to go to was a town of some of the foster families. The girls were very excited to see familiar sites they had not seen in a while. We did not stop, because we were worried we might come in contact with someone that we are legally told to stay away from. Contact with people in the girls past could nullify the adoption. The climate in the mountains is like Wisconsin summers, warm during the day and cool at night. As a result, there are many
Guernsey and Jersey cows roaming the fields around these communities. That area is common for U.S. and European retirees. We also drove close by President Uribe's cow farm. It was a beautiful ride but we were all wiped after wards (I'm not much for curvy roads even though there are many in PR)
There are times when the girls seem not get along and others were they seem inseparable. When they are playing together, such as the pool, they act silly and play innocent games and enjoy each other's company. We can't help but think that they will never again have a time like this again. We know that once we get back to the U.S. they will be engaging in different activities, will develop their own friendships and begin to further develop their different personalities. Before coming here we were told that there would be no contact with their orphanage during the time, however the girls were allowed to call their orphanage this week and talked to a couple of the teachers. Now, the orphanage is not sure whether they want to continue this, so this is causing some anxiety because they are told they can and then they are told they can't. Since we can't give a definite answer, it undermines us. I think the intention was that they call kids, but since they said 'friends', the orphanage never considered that these friends could be adults, and now they are changing their minds.
Giving the girls allowances I think was a good move from our part, but at the same time it has caused some issues. Truly the girls have no concept of money and what can be done with it necessarily. Their first impulse is to spend it, but many of the things they'd like to buy are out of their reach. Today while we were driving through the artisan towns, They saw some little piggy banks. Our second oldest has a birthday coming up and she had liked a little pig she had seen at the store. Instead of getting this pig, our guide stopped by clay artisan's shop where there were clay piggys for 2,000 pesos (about 1 dollar). The piggy's were beautiful and the girls began to put their money inside of them. They were very excited about this until they realized later after they got home that the pigs could not be opened, yet they now wanted their money back so they could buy mints from the grocery store (something two of the girls had just done). Our oldest took responsibility over this (as usual) and proceeded to help her sisters get their money out with a knife (we used to do the same thing in our house (MM), as a result one of the piggy banks is now broken because it was too fragile to withstand this excavation. These are the hard lessons that the girls are learning and will continue to learn as they will be given more responsibilities. We've asked them not to flaunt their money in front of their sisters and they have gotten better at this. One thing that we are realizing more and more is that the girls do not know what to do during unstructured time. This usually results in the girls all wanting to work in the computer at the same time or asking to use our cameras to take pictures or movies of each other. Even though we have provided them with some things that they can do during these times, they seem more fascinated by the technological gadgets than in other things. So we have now come to the conclusion that we need to structure their day a little more, and teach them board games and other activities that they can do on their own without our interference, as this is also affecting our ability to clean, wash clothes keep the house clean, cook meals etc. Alex is feeling frustrated about his abilities to understand as much as he would like. There continue to be moments when the girls will be sharing facts and stories about their past, and they all talk at the same time (I did the same thing with my sisters and still do). It's hard enough to keep up with one person much less with four fast talking Latinas. But because what they are sharing is important for them to share, Alex does not want to ask for translations every few sentences and break up the flow of conversations. Tomorrow we will be going to visit another little kid that is being adopted by a Swedish couple. One thing we learned today was that most of the dark skinned Colombian kids are not adopted by Colombians or Americans, but rather by Europeans and Scandinavians as they are more interested in these kids. Our guide said that this has been going on for a while and that some of these dark skinned Colombian kids are now doctors and professionals and that some of them come back later to visit their former city. --MM

The girls' behavior is improving. We had a better day because the girls were nicer to each other, and were more respectful to us (they were already pretty good). They are also getting used to going shopping with us. Most of our shopping has been for food, books and clothes. We have a wonderful bookstore just down the street from us. This has helped us in emphasizing literacy and books in Spanish. We have been teaching them some English, but we want to create a strong literacy base in their native language (Sorry, but only those of you who are ESL-Bilingual teachers will understand this).
The first day we went shopping the girls would just choose about anything with bright colors to put in the cart, not knowing what anything was. An example of this was when I went to shop for some little gifts for some of their teachers in the orphanage and our youngest put a packet of baby shower cards in the basket. I had to explain to her what this was, she just liked what it looked like. Today, when we went back to the bookstore, there were a couple of more things we had to explain, but the girls were better at choosing just books (an example was when our second oldest chose a model of an Star Wars fighter thinking it was a toy. She did not understand it was a model that would be fragile and wouldn't last in the orphanage, even if it was put together). One of the things that we noticed about the girls in terms of shopping is that they are not commercialized as the kids in the U.S. and are not asking for the 'latest' items. The closest thing would be the oldest girls asking for some of the current music in CD. The girls do know about Hannah Montana and Jonas Brothers but beyond that they do not know much about American pop culture, but rather are very knowledgeable about Latin American pop culture (Julia and Anna will have to teach them about American Idol). It is hard to assume that they don't know what is happening or that they are not aware of current things. An example is that we took them to the movie theater today and they had already seen it.
One thing we have noticed is that the girls personalities compliment each other as if they are 'one entity' even though they have a wide age span. For example, if there is a conflict.. one gives advice, one tells it like it is, one searches for fairness in the conflict, and the another provides the comic relief to break up the tension. These personalities will not be hard to figure out when you meet them. We wonder how when they grow older how independent they would want to be from each other.
One thing I noticed was how I stick out from the women here in terms of my clothes. Walking down the street, most women wear tight jeans, Nice shirts (usually low cut) and high heels, even though it is very mountainous. (I got the heels, but my jeans are much looser now and my shirts are simple and more modest) In the U.S., some people might claim that these women are loose, while here is a common practice. This is similar to P.R. culture, but it shows that these very modest girls have been exposed to things that we would consider inappropriate but have not been expected to conform to that at their age. In Latin America you are expected to take on responsibilities but are not necessarily expected to be independent until you move out of the house and get married. In the U.S., people are taught to be independent as early as graduating from high school so that they have to grow up faster and they are not necessarily encouraged to take parent guidance after high school.
We are looking forward to coming back to the U.S for family, dryers, dishwashers and comfortable beds, but most of all we look forward to the adoption process being done.
We are tired of not being able to talk about the girls or share pictures to anyone for fear of the adoption being negated. We have had several people come and talk to us here, but we are so afraid to talk to people since we have been told not to do so, and when we do we worry about what could happen. We spend 99 percent of our time with the girls but these rules make it difficult to try to go expand that 1 percent.
The people here in the buildings are very nice, but when there are too many people around, we stay indoors in fear that we would be stuck in the position of looking rude by not sharing some information about ourselves and adhering to these rules (This is especially difficult for me and against my cultural background). The girls have been asked to socialize by other kids in the facility, but we are not allowed to let them. Most people figure out that the girls are adopted because there are been other families that have adopted that have stayed here. A lady today was being very nice and offered help in case of an emergency and I had to tell her that I could not accept her help because of the process. Some of the rules that we have to abide by are fairly new so the people in our complex are not aware of the rule change and are possibly being as friendly to us as they are to others. An example of this was today. After the movie and shopping at the bookstore, we walked by a group of middle school and upper elementary grade students. We could not let the girls talk to these kids who they probably wanted to introduce themselves to.
All of a sudden I'm very tired and must go to sleep. We are going out to the countryside tomorrow. It will be an interesting day. --MM

Starting Family Structures

We began some structures for the girls to earn trips, and allowances. We agreed on four family rules that we wanted the girls to follow. We met with them yesterday after dinner (we've had such meetings at every meal) and tonight we met with each one of the girls to let them know if they had earned their 'stars'. The big prize will be going to the movies and their first allowance. Some of the girls got all their stars, and some didn't. There are opportunities of extra things to do to earn stars back.
We continue to meet with the girls and prepare them for the U.S. culture. The girls are great but can be a little rambunctious and definitely talkative when they are all together. You have to also understand we have no big parks or yard (just a small playground in the back that is shared by all the residents), very few books that I have bought in bookstore close to here, Jenga, Uno and a swimming pool. Our apartment is about 1100 square feet, there is no dryer a very small fridge, a radio and two small T.Vs. The computer we brought has been extremely helpful. It seems that most of the kids in this complex are small. I have not seen very many kids the girls age. Our apartment complex has four buildings with four apartments in each floor and 21 floors. One plus is that the grocery store delivers and so do all restaurants and we get a cleaning lady once a week. The girls are revealing more about their history and we have no reason to believe that what they are sharing is not true. We can't and won't share any of these details with you. I know many of you are curious about this but we won't because the girls history is for them to share and we don't want to speak for them. All we can tell you is that these girls are brave, resilient and have positive attitudes in spite of their history. We have cried many times already sometimes in front of them sometimes not (one of the girls said about Alex: 'papi is very sentimental, isn't he?'). We have many funny and entertaining stories as well. So today as usual I went to the grocery store with two of the girls. In Colombia when you pay, you must show your national ID or cedula for plastic transactions. Since we don't have this, we show our passport of Colombian Visa. When I went to pay to show my passport, our youngest said to the cashier "We are the Martin family".
Before going to sleep today I told Alex to take the girls to the playground since they had taken naps earlier and had energy to burn. While they were down there they saw some boys playing in the basketball court. The girls were talking about the boys, our youngest said 'well, they were kind of cute'. Then our third said " No they were not, I didn't like any of them", our second replied "You never like any boys". Then she replied "Oh Yes I do, I like papi, he is the only boy I like". Alex gave a sight of relief. He has already applied for the new non-profit called "DADD": 'Dads Against Daughters Dating' :)
To Alex's dad, we say "Get Well Soon". --MM

Toughness is a good sign

Even though the kids are beginning to be more challenging than the initial honeymoon days, it is good to know that they are beginning this process early because we have been told that the second week is the most taxing and we have not finished the first week. So we are starting the process of post honeymoon early and hopefully we get a better handle on things before we get home. Today we went to a local amusement park and discovery world type place. This was in the center of Medellin. The city is busy, and there are over 4 million people. It is a very clean city, much more than Cuernavaca MX,where I visited Alex last year. There is a lot of poverty, but there are also big shopping centers and industrial areas. It's strange for me to think that this city had so many problems, because now you would not know it. People are the nicest I have ever met in any country or city (really, anyplace!). The city is very modern and the mountains are beautiful. It's pretty to see the rain coming over the mountains. We are in the rainy season, but it only rains maybe once a day for about 1/2 and hour to 45 minutes and most days are sunny or partly cloudy. The mornings can be a little cool.
There are many beautiful birds that sing in the morning here where we are staying. One of the things that I have disliked the most though, is the pollution and the fact that there are no crosswalks here. The first day we had to cross to the mall with the four girls I just about had a heart attack. It would be the equivalent of crossing of crossing Wisconsin Avenue in downtown MKE during rush hour without crosswalks.
At the same time the girls are challenging they are also entertaining and delightful while some of the girls are more challenging than we were led to believe, others are helpful and supportive. It would have been very difficult for me (Mercedes) to do this without the oldest girl. At the same time that this might seem unfair to her, because her sisters look up to her like a mom, she has been helpful to me in trying to explain her sisters, their backgrounds, challenges etc. as well as understanding their background and the things they have gone through together at the orphanage and other places. We do not plan to have her stay in that role,we want to make sure that she gets similar opportunities as her sisters, but for now.. it works!
The place we went to today was an amusement park, and a discovery type center. The places were OK, nothing compared to some of the places they will go when they get to the U.S. I am impressed though, that the girls have been to so many places with their orphanage, places around town. So it's nice because the girls know their way around many of the places in town. What the girls have told us is that there is a foundation that takes care of taking them out to different places. I have truly been impressed with the organization of not just their orphanage, but of this great city. The people that we work with are truly caring of the girls and of the other kids in the orphanage. The lady that helps us has known the girls for years. Our lawyer when she came to see us told us that adoption is her passion. That she had volunteered at the orphanage before she even became an adoption lawyer. We are fortunate to have such good people on our family's side--MM

Growing Pains

As first time parents of four older girls we expected that there would be challenges.
The girls have been very happy, and it is difficult at times to reprimand them for being happy, giddy and for teasing each other all the time. We understand that they are probably feeling very free to express themselves differently with us than in their previous environments. From what we have been told, the girls are on a faster pace in terms of becoming close to us than other families. This wa s made more obvious to us by a comment made by our oldest daughter when she said: "We have all called you mami and papi, and that doesn't always happen. I know because other kids in the orphanage have told me so".
As preparation for coming to a different culture we have advised the girls through family meetings and meals about some of the things that they are to expect once they come to the United States. I know this is going to sound sad, and I don't mean to insult anyone, but in the U.S. people can be pretty intolerant. To help with culture shock we have been doing this throughout the week. We will be helping with this transition, so hopefully it won't be as difficult. As a family we are growing together, which is a wonderful experience, but we are also feeling some pains come with that growth. We have been challenged though certain behaviors that we certainly expected and have been trying our best to keep an warm and open heart while keeping a strong sense guidance for our family.
There is also the fact that our discipline style is different than what the girls have been used to, that is, we have open dialogue about the issues and conflicts at hand. For some, not all, this seems to be uncomfortable but necessary since this is how we will be handling things in our family for the future.
Tomorrow we get a tour of Medellin. We are looking forward to that, so we need to go to bed now. Luckily the girls went to bed a little later, maybe they will wake up a little later.. More to come.

Frustrations..and blessings.

Well.. we've been here for a few days, and are frustrated over the fact that we have been having problems with our computer, have not been able to post as much as we would like, and have not been able to figure out how to call our family in the U.S. Our computer is causing us a lot of headaches, it died on us for a day, then Alex took it someplace here and there was nothing wrong with it. It just decided to shut off. We thought we could also skype, but have not been able to do it. Papi said that I had to do some international code or something. We are so busy we don't have much time to sit in the computer (when it works) and figure this out. So we feel a little distant from the world we know. This and the fact that we do not have a dryer (there are no dryers in Medellin or laundromats, everyone dries on the rack), is extremely frustrating. Imagine just the underwear the girls go through every day! Just that, is a few loads a day. We have a washer, but it only does small to medium loads. So I go through many loads of laundry a day. Alex has also been having some back problems because of the mattress. It is very hard and his back has always been bothersome so the hard mattress we have has been not good for his back. I bet he can't wait to get back home to our sleep number bed. On top of that our bank must have capped our expenses on us even though we had talked to them before we left Today we bought stuff for the girls and when we went to pay we couldn't! We had to use a lot of our U.S. cash for it. It was frustrating and embarrassing. The girls were great about it.
With all of this however, we feel blessed by many things so far in our stay here.
First, Medellin is truly a beautiful place and the people are just wonderful. They are helpful and kind. We usually get stares because somehow people can't figure out why we have four daughters, are from the U.S. yet the girls don't speak English. We have been told that we cannot say anything about our adoption, so we usually don't. The other day a girl at store figured it out. There are several adoption houses here, however most adoptions go to Colombian citizens. The rest go to Europe and the U.S. Most of them go to Europe. There are only few Americans that adopt here.
Our country guide is just wonderful. She is like a friend, truly, she is there for us in anything we need. She took us shopping today and waited around to help us figure out how to pay our bill. She did this, risking a ticket since they have a limit of certain cars per day that can be out on the streets during rush hour.
We are blessed to have her. Finally, we are blessed by our girls. We are getting to know them, and at times it seems as if we have known them our whole lives. Yes, I am extremely tired by the fact that I am the main communicator between the girls and us. I feel bad for Alex, that he does not understand as much. But I try to send the girls out with Alex to do something every day. They love their papi, especially in the pool. Yesterday the girls shared with us some of their horror stories from their parents and foster homes. We cried in front of them. We cannot believe what these girls have gone through, yet how strong and healthy they are.. Yes they may not have all the social graces, but overall they are wonderful girls. When we went to pick them up, they told us "you are really taking with you four treasures".. Now we know how true that statement was. --MM

First day

Today was our first full day with the girls. Both Yesica and Mary Sucena got up very early (4:30). Then again they gone to bed at 7:30! I had set my alarm for 6 am, so I was hoping to get up a little later.. not the case. I had told the girls that if I was still sleeping that they should do some coloring and wait for us. When I got up that's what they were doing. I was surprised by that. A little bit later the other girls got up and we sat around colored, did some art etc. We made chorizos, bread, and fried plantains for breakfast. They seemed to like this breakfast, then the two oldest went to the market with Alex and I stayed with the two youngest. I took them downstairs to the swings. They had a good time, but one of the girls kept asking me if we were going to take them back. The thing that we have found out is the girls are scared that if they are not good, they might be sent back.. so guess what? They have been pretty good..We are not sure who or whether or not they are holding back because they are afraid to be sent back. Maybe...it s a little bit of a honeymoon period, but they are still doing great. I'm tired and going to bed.. --MM



I don't understand how couples with no Spanish abilities can do this. I am constantly confused by things and have difficulty communicating but I have a decent amount of Spanish and of course Mercedes. I have many moments where I just can not express myself and the girls get frustrated with me. With 5 females it is common that multiple conversations are occurring at the same time. I try to listen to one at a time and get something,but I am finding that Colombia has some of its own colloquial lingo that I have never heard before.

The girls love their papi, and I am enjoying it (even if I feel unable to communicate). Milena and Mirellen were troopers this morning helping me carry groceries (the bags were heavy and we had to walk uphill for several blocks). I have been main cook (something the girls are getting used to), which allows Mercedes time to explain rules or the activities for the day. I could not do this without her (or at least not this well). We make a good team.

There is a bunch of info and relationship forming choices we are making now, that we will have to explain later...

6am will come too quickly, gotta get some sleep.

We Finally Meet

This has been a day that might only be rivaled by a multi-couple wedding with a birth of a grandchild mixed in. At the same time it is a decided break from one part of our lives, it is also a joyous beginning of the next.
We might be biased already but the girls are wonderful. They are genuine,loving,and of course beautiful. They seemed to ask many good and thoughtful questions. We are very fortunate. Yesica said at one point "Is this a dream?" We would like to post pictures but until we get the "sentencia" from the court, we can not.

We are exhausted but very happy. The girls are happy but still a bit nervous about what their new life will be like. I do not blame them for this way, only time and our reassurances will remedy this.

I wasn't as much of a wreck as I thought I would be but there were moments realized
my dreams were coming true and I seemed to be getting emotional for no reason.


Thank you Vicky Diez for making it a great day.

We only had time after the girls went to bed to figure out how to connect ourselves to the internet. Tomorrow we might try skype.