School has begun for everyone (finally)

It's my turn to write something. I have wanted to write things but have been tired (without insomnia) by the end of the day and have not had a free moment during the day to write anything. I have been staying home with the girls (not in school) and then going to work. I have not been very productive at work because I am tired before I get there. With school starting, I finally can start predicting a little of how the next day might happen because I have time to think. August was a very difficult month for us because we had to trade off work times (Mercedes during the day and me at night/late afternoon) when we couldn't get a babysitter. Hanna, Otin, Ginny and Mom have been wonderful (not to mention a handful of babysitters). They allowed for a few day shifts for me so I could spend time with the girls and Mercedes. We are worn out now but things would have been worse if we didn't have their help. There were a few days where babysitters never came or were not able to come for the full time which threw our schedules for a loop.

As Mercedes has said things go forward and backward. There are days when people are cooperative and sweet and others when they're grumpy with attitudes. The bad thing about school that we are finding out is that good or bad activities that happen at school influence people's attitudes when they come home. Things could have been wonderful in the morning but not at night. Though I know we could have done more to prepare the girls for school, I think we did OK. I just hope school will be ready for them.

Tonight we had a long conversation about compassion. For some this was a new word. Not that they didn't have an idea of the concept, but they had not really had a serious discussion about it. It was another example of how we can't just assume the girls know things. Though I said things I often had to have things translated because these more advanced concepts require vocabulary and subtleties that I don't have in Spanish yet. Some who were in a bad mood didn't think that this compassion idea was very important. Mercedes has been reading passages from the bible to the girls periodically before they go to bed. This subject allowed for a teachable moment with a biblical passage, and it helped emphasize why compassion is important.

This week I helped organize some of the fall/winter clothes for the girls that people generously donated to us. Many were very nice (except the bunch with cat hair). Milena was sneezing when we were looking through them. I guess I won't be the only bad guy when it comes to choice of future pets (I am allergic to cats too). Though there were items the girls immediately wanted, there were others that they thought were too boyish or not quite the right style. The majority of the sweaters/fleece jackets and other cold weather clothing fell into this category. To say the least we are setting those things aside for when it gets really cold and they see that other girls around here wear those styles. I am sure they will change their mind. I am guessing warmth will triumph over style at some point. Plus we don't have the funds to buy them a wardrobe of cold weather things that suit their idea of fashion. It just won't happen.

Tonight at the dinner table (as usual) I felt left out because everyone was so excited to talk about what happened at school. Everyone is talking a mile a minute and Mercedes was having a hard time keeping up. These are the kinds of things that really frustrate me that I can't share what they are going through. I want to participate or give them ideas of what to do next time they have problems but I can't keep up. If there's a problem with someone I do not have the command of the language to explain things in subtle ways (like the difference between being rude or annoying or explaining that just because you do something as a joke, does not mean the other person will interpret it the same way). Many times I start a sentence but can not finish it. Mirellen and Milena are good at helping me finish sentences. The other two try but are not always helpful. I often feel that I am not being the Dad I want to be because I can't explain myself. I end up being a caricature because I can only say a limited amount. My Spanish is not pathetic but it's limited, and it's hard to teach complex ideas in a positive and nurturing way when I don't know the words to use. Most of all I can not listen to what the girls think are important in their lives. I have to wait for a translation or explanation later. I know there is more information than what they actually say (how and with what emphasis), not to mention being able to ask them questions so it shows them that I really am interested in what they know and experience. Right now that's very hard to do.

Our trip up north was greatly needed by me. I was hoping the time away/change of scenery would help everyone relax a bit. Most everyone enjoyed it but Mercedes, who felt guilty about being there and not with her Dad. If Mercedes doesn't have times away like this she will wear herself out (practically collapse from exhaustion or sickness). Though she felt guilty she needed the time away as much as I did.

Now that school has started I can start thinking about a second part-time job. Though a full time job would be ideal I am not sure it would be as flexible as we need my work to be. I hate only working part time but if I wasn't August would have been hyper expensive. When sicknesses or vacations come I need to be able to scale back on my work. Unfortunately I have let barbershop slide. I have kept up with my quartet but my participation in the chorus has suffered. I enjoy singing with the chorus but if I had to choose I would rather sing with my quartet.