Big Change

This past month there was a big change in my life.  I will elaborate.

I took Sucena to the doctor one day.  I was wondering about her behavior, and about her past school experience.  Report from the psychologist in hand, I was there to see if the doctor thought that she might have ADD, or anything of the sort that could explain the strange behavior I was observing and our frustration during the school year.   Our doctor is very old and experienced.  I have total trust in him because he has dealt with many adopted kids throughout his career.  So he sat me down to explain that the behavior had to do with attachment.  That all I had to do was spend more time with her and to continue this. I could not believe it! " I spend lots of time with her, probably more than the girls," I replied.  He explained how a lady had quit her job to be more with her kids.  I explained that this was not possible for me.  I was the main breadwinner in the family and I had to work.  I also liked to work and I was not going to give this up.

Later that week I received news that our ESL teacher in our building had resigned.  I immediately started calling a friend about a reference continuing my job as Dean and Coordinator at KMS.  I still had a pile of work to do, and was planning to spend most of Saturday that week working.  On Friday I traveled to Green Bay to see a friend.  A slew of e-mails came in from all secretaries, new kids, issues with IEPs, scheduling conflicts.  I went to see my friend in Green Bay.  She lives simply in a small house with her two kids.  Her husband is a teacher too and she looked great.  She had biked in the morning and her girls had prepared cupcakes to sell.  No one bought the cupcakes, everyone ate them.
After talking to Liz and coming home I started to wonder where my job was leading me.  I started to think about the overwhelming task of coordinating again at KMS, the politics of it all etc.  I talked to Alex about maybe trying to go back to teaching.  Should I try to?  What about the money?  We have not sold our condo yet... On Monday I talked to my principal about the possibility of being the ESL teacher in our building. He was surprised, but I don't think shocked.  I don't think he thought I was begin serious.  As the week went by, I started to think more and more about the possibility and later applied online and scheduled an interview.  I was serious.

On Monday I was offered the job of ESL teacher at Kromrey and accepted.  The money is a little bit less, but the district made me an offer that was hard to refuse.  I am packing up my office and going back to teaching.  I have mixed feelings about it, but think it is the best for me.  After years of waiting to see if I could begin my doctorate, I believe that it might be possible.  Teachers in my building have been supportive.  No one seemed surprised.

I will miss my colleagues.  I loved working with them and trying to make a better Kromrey, with their help.  I will continue to  do that as the ESL teacher while teaching two courses at Edgewood in the spring.

It already feels a burdened has been lifted.  I am not frantically preparing for our 15 year to take care of the girls for the whole month of August or pay extraordinary amounts for day care, as we did last year so I can begin my job on the first Monday in August.  I am relieved.

I have demoted myself, even after all that work in graduate school.  But this is what I must do now.  Life goes on.  I presented my resignation letter yesterday.  I gave feedback but tried to stay on the positive.  Hopefully they see it that way. :)