Tonight I could not take Sucena to a dance class I wanted for her because of homework, it just seems there is not time for anything. On top of that, we are struggling with school materials being all in English and with teachers that still do not know how to work with level 1 students, and how to prepare activities that would be of value to non-English speakers. As an ESL teacher for over 22 years I cringe at what I see at times sent home as homework. Also, the fact that textbooks adopted do not have any sort of materials in Spanish is extremely frustrating. If I would charge the Math book company for all the translation I've done since the girls started school, I would have a lot of money in my pocket. So.. Alex and I are frustrated and of course, this leads to tiredness as well.
The thing is that I don't mind working hard. As a matter fact I have always been a sort of workholic, and having the girls adds to my burden, but just above the level that I am used to. It's just that the stresses are different. I still count with my fingers the nights (or days) when there have not been conflicts or tears. I hope this will change as well. I think this would ease my stress level and my level of tiredness as well.
In terms of my job, I don't even want to mention it. It truly is an impossible job for one person. I do what I can during the day, but the truth is, not that much gets done anymore. I cannot take any work home, since homework takes a priority in our house now.
So, yes I'm tired and we are both still trying to figure out routines and responsibilities. This will take some time. Once in a while I need to put things into perspective, and the fact that the girls have only lived 5 months with us.
Well, I'm tired now and need to go to sleep. Buenas noches.
Mercedes and Alex,
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear you talk about perspective. It is hard to see the forest for the trees. Of course you're tired -- you've taken on a huge task, adopting four girls who are not proficient in English, you haven't been parents before, and you're also both holding down jobs. This year may not be your best year at your job, but obviously they've always gotten 200% from you. Are you Superwoman? Yes, you probably are! But even superheroes deserve some down time, and you're not getting much. Try to take a deep breath, cut yourself some slack, and realize that you're building the foundation for all six of your lives --- that's really hard work, but well worth it!
Much love and admiration from us both,
Margaret and Tom
I don't know if this will help, but with 3 boys who are also dealing with a level of homework never seen before...making us give up things that we used to have time for (I haven't been able to read to them since school started, for instance -- sigh!)....I've started to tell them -- when they've got tears welling up, it's 8 o'clock and 6th grader, Joe, is still working hard, even though he's been working steadily since coming home -- that, it's only middle school. At this point, the grade isn't important. What's important is that you work hard and have a good attitude and you learn.
ReplyDeleteWhat I DON'T want, in fact, is a young boy so bent out of shape that he's crying because he doesn't know how to work any harder and he's so stressed. That's. Not. Right. I truly do not care if he ends up getting a 'C' in English or History, simply because he didn't finish these absurdly long homework assignments. Truly....as Margaret says above, keeping perspective is what's important. Fifth or sixth or seventh graders are NOT supposed to work that hard on homework!!
Your situation is different from mine, of course, since part (or most??) of what is taking so long is the translation. But the concept is still the same....if bedtimes are being missed, if dance classes have to be skipped, if crying fits become the norm....then homework should be the thing that gives.
It's. Just. Not. That. Important.
My 2 cents, anyway. :)
Love,
Laura