Mercedes birthday and a bunch of stuff we've done since Christmas

Today was Mercedes Birthday.  Because it was on a weekday we didn't celebrate it as much as I would have liked, but we did give her cards and gifts.  It was interesting buying cards with the girls.  They don't have much experience buying things for other people.  I felt sometimes like I was buying cards with a three year old version of myself.  I remember my Dad and I talking about getting my Mom a birthday present when I was 3 or 4.  My Dad asked me what I would like to get her and I said a big yellow Tonka dump truck.  That was the neatest thing I could think of at the time, so of course that was the best present for my mother.  My Dad was not very convinced that this was the best gift and tried to persuade me otherwise.  I felt that Dad just didn't understand how cool that truck was.  I had a feeling that this might be the case with the younger girls but Milena wasn't much better.  For example the girls were fixated on a card that had a yellow lab (dog) on the front.  They didn't understand that Mami wouldn't want this (because she doesn't like big dogs).  Sucena then was excited about a card that burped Happy Birthday.  Again, not really thinking of the person that she was giving it to.  Since card buying was a tough process, I figured I would stop at cards and not try to have them find gifts (I hadn't had much sleep in the days before so my patience was not long).  I had gotten Cedinin gift certificates for messages and some yoga DVDs.  Yes, parenting can be stressful.  Mercedes wasn't expecting much for her birthday and unfortunately the stars didn't align to give her a chance to get a message today.  Hopefully that will happen before the end of the week.

Last weekend Middleton elementary schools (including Yesica and Sucena's school) had a father/daughter dance at the high school.  It was kind of a strange event.  The daughters dancing a bit spastic and the Dads even worse.  Everyone was feeling like they should be dancing with their family member but the girls seemed happier playing with their friends and some dads spent as much time talking with other dads.  I wasn't the only dad with two daughters.  One dad had four (the oldest one looked like she was in middle school).  I was guessing he had been told to have a night with his daughters so mom could have a night off.  Yessica and Sucena were more interested in watching what everyone else was doing than dancing themselves.  Sucena plyed with the camera until the batteries wore out.  Yesica did dance with me a few times.  They had fun and got to play with a couple of girls they knew from their school.  Sucena and Yesica mostly just like having and excuse to dress up.

For the Super Bowl we went to visit some of our friends who we knew from Sun Prairie Schools.  There are two couples who live practically next door, and when they have gatherings like this, one house is the kids house (with baby sitters) and the other house is the adult house.  It was fun for all.  The kids played games and watched movies.  The adults got to drink beer and cheer loudly for the Packers.

We had a big snow storm last week.  The schools were closed on Wednesday.  You can see why in the picture.  The girls have really enjoyed the snow.  More than I thought they all would.  The novelty is starting to wear off and they are starting to think that winter is a bit long.  We told them in December (as well as all fall when the subject of snow came up) that they would eventually get sick of the snow.  They didn't believe us.  Now they do.  That is one of many examples I could give where the girls are not being rude or disrespectful they just don't believe us when we tell them things about life here in Wisconsin that's different than in Colombia.  How people view things differently or have different expectations.

Because the girls were in survival mode for such a big part of their lives (in foster care and the orphanage as well as some of their years with their biological parents) they have a tendency to be selfish and don't think of others (like the birthday cards).  They have a bit of "do what is necessary" mentality.  This has been tough for us to work through and will probably be something the girls will never totally outgrow, but we are trying to get them to develop more empathy for others and understanding for other points of view.

Milena and Sucena are playing indoor soccer at the Prairie Athletic Club (PAC).  The teams don't get any time to practice which means people don't learn much from one game to the next, but it's a good focus of physical energies.  Mirellen likes to play racquetball.  She's taken some lessons and is getting better.  I played with her once.  It was a bit hard to get used to because as the kids develop their skills they are allowed to let the ball bounce more than once.  The better they get the fewer times the ball is allowed to bounce. Mirellen still is allowed to let it bounce 3-4 times.  When I played against her at first I was trying to hit it after one bounce but found myself bouncing into walls too much and hitting the ball  too hard for her, so I relaxed and played her game.  Even though she got more points when I was letting it bounce only once we had more rallies the other way.  Yesica was supposed to play basketball but the league folded when they didn't have enough people sign up.  By then it was too late for Yesica to join another sport.

The girls prefer art activities to reading, especially when they have to read in both languages.  It's a tough sell but it's easier when they read with one of us.  Their English is OK but I had hoped that their English would be almost as good as my Spanish by now.  Mirellen's is getting better but the other girls don't practice their English as much so it's not as good.  Mirellen's motivation is friends.  I am still not sure how many friends the girls have and am pretty doubtful that they have any English speaking ones (except Mirellen).  If they had more English speaking friends they would probably speak more English.

We are looking forward to being able to live close to the girls' schools so that friendships will be easier to nurture and follow.  We feel very cut off from the girls lives here.

Well it's getting late and I need sleep.  Sorry for not updating this in so long.