Welcome to Motherhood and Another Anniversary

OK, so it has been along time since I wrote here.  Mother's Day came and went, not without consequence. I still remember my Mother's Day last year, what my expectations were and what actually happened. This year I just wanted to spend time with my family and my mother.  It has been quite a year for us, not only did we have the girls come home, but my dad was in intensive care for 3 months, still recuperating at home. My best friend's husband died and now Alex's dad had brain bleeding and is still recuperating at home. Needless something happened between the older two that spoiled the party.  Second Mother's day for me. Oh well.   I am still getting used to the idea of being a mom anyway.

Lately I've heard a lot "Welcome to Motherhood" and I am learning what that means.   This comment is usually made after I have shared some situation at home or with one of the girls.  I feel that I am getting to be part of a 'club', but being in the unique situation that I am at,  there are some things that are just hard to explain and for people to understand.  I sometimes look at moms and what they do with their children, just to get a sense of whether or not I am doing things right (OK I can't help this being the oldest in the family means to be extremely responsible).  Needless to say most moms look more relaxed than I do, then again they don't have 4 children.  I have gotten a little more relaxed than at the beginning.   But then again I think moms never really relax, so I guess I'm in the right path...

I take advantage at work of talking to the moms that I admire.  Work is tremendously therapeutic for me, even though it is a crazy job. I get to talk to people who deal with kids all the time and steal all their tricks. Just wonderful.  My circle of friends has become smaller, something I need to recuperate.  Time flies and Alex spends once a week with his parents, so there isn't much time for socializing right now.  I read other adoptive mother blogs and it's amazing how other women just go away on vacations with their friends, to other states and stuff.  They definitely have more money than we have. Danette always comes to my rescue and tries to invite me out.  She is a true friend.  I hope this summer to take advantage of the fact the girls will be doing some activities to get together with some people.  Maybe new friends or I might search for old friends.  Unfortunately because of my job,  I don't have a Facebook account.

Today is the anniversary of our flight from Bogota to Miami. Just to think a year ago today, we got the girls up at 3 in the morning to get them early to the airport. We waited hours there to get out, I was glad I took my marriage certificate with me.  I almost did not get out of the country.  We went to Miami to see Laisa, my cousin who is a doctor and lived there at the time.  She is finishing her specialty as pediatric rheumatoid specialist in Chicago.  She is pregnant and the girls are excited to see a baby in the family. Sucena wanted me to have a baby. That's not going to happen.  We spent a night in Miami and flew to Wisconsin the next day.  We are not having a great celebration today, but will talk to the girls about it.

If any mothers out there have any advice for me, please put it in these comments.  I would love to hear from you.  I don't know what I would do without my mom. She is precious to me.  Dealing with the girls has made me realize what an amazing woman she is.  Not just because she raised us, but because not having a mother or a home for most of her life, it is amazing how she was able to raise us and helped us get where we are at.   I never sensed anger or resentment towards her situation while growing up, something would have been easy to do and could have influenced us.   She told me she forgave her mother and feels at peace.  Alex and I are blessed to have her, she can relate to the girls and can talk to them from a place that we cannot.  Gracias Mami.

OK, so I can't sleep and that is no surprise.  I am going to go back to my rosary, my usual practice for when I cannot sleep.

Continue to pray for us.. for Patience, Fortitude and Wisdome.

MM